


she should have never left you broken (she should have held you)

by swishoflight



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, humor and fluff with a teeny tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 20:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11021025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swishoflight/pseuds/swishoflight
Summary: Lena had once told her that her mother was not the devil incarnate. And, in a way, she was right: Lillian was not the devil incarnate… she was somehow worse. At least the devil was considerate enough to inscribe “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” on the gates of hell.Lillian Luthor came with no such warning.(Or Lena writes a list of everything Lillian ruined for her, and Kara helps her create new memories.)





	she should have never left you broken (she should have held you)

**Author's Note:**

> Title: "Enough for Now" by The Fray. (Ish. I changed "he" to "she", sue me.)

Kara Danvers doesn’t hate many things in life, much less _people_. But there are two people in particular who are currently very high on her (imaginary) hate list: That one guy who ate the last potsticker at Lena’s charity gala, and Lillian Luthor. Lena had once told her (well, not _her_ her; her, as in Supergirl-her) that her mother was not the devil incarnate. And, in a way, she was right: Lillian was not the devil incarnate… she was somehow worse. At least the devil was considerate enough to inscribe “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” on the gates of hell.

Lillian Luthor came with no such warning.

(To this day, Kara regrets encouraging Lena to visit her mom in jail.)

Fortunately, now that she is back behind bars, it’s all fine. _Almost_ fine. (It’s fine as long as Kara doesn’t think about what that woman had done to Jeremiah —and, in turn, to Alex and Eliza. It’s fine as long as she doesn’t imagine a world where Lena hadn’t neutralized the Medusa virus. It’s fine as long as she doesn’t picture a tiny 4-year-old Lena entering the Luthor Mansion, unaware that she would never feel a mother’s love again.) The eldest Luthor would never hurt anyone ever again, Kara would make sure of that.

But there is something that’s still bothering her about the whole thing, though she can’t quite put her finger on what it is; not until Lena makes an offhand comment during one of their lunch dates:

“You would have hated life in the Luthor household,” she says, smiling as she watches Kara gulp down her fifth slice of pizza, “there was a strict no-pizza policy. Well, no junk food in general, but pizza got the worst of it for some reason… How ridiculous is that? My mother having some sort of weird vendetta against _pizza_ of all things.” There is humor in her voice, and it’s obviously meant to be a funny anecdote, but Kara sees something in Lena’s eyes that suggests that there is _more_ to this story; an undertone of discomfort. So, she resists the urge to comment —pizza and Lena Luthor are both topics she’s _very_ passionate about, after all— and waits.

(It always takes Lena a minute to decide if she wants to share something personal with her or not. And Kara gets it, she really does. Lena had been taught to keep her private life, well, _private_ , since any information could potentially be used against her or her family.)

(“I trust you, Kara. It’s just that— After what happened with Lex, I’m not used to actually having someone to share things with.”)

“You know my mother made me abhor pizza?” Lena takes a small bite out of her pizza as she mentions this, contradiction and defiance all at once. “She was out on a business trip and… Long story short, she came home a day early and caught me ordering pizza. She _freaked_ , made me eat the whole thing in one sitting when it got there. I was sick the entire night and the morning after, but she made me go to school anyway, said that would teach me a lesson. I couldn’t stand pizza after that, even the smell of it made me sick because it reminded me of that awful day.”

“Lena—”

“After I met you, Kara Danvers, pizza lover extraordinaire, that memory took a backseat —it was not what my mind instantly associated pizza with anymore; it was _you_.” And she is _so proud_ of Lena because, in spite of everything, she’s slowly allowing herself to heal and trust again. Kara has never felt more vindicated with her decision to give Lena a chance when everyone was telling her to _stay the hell away_ from a Luthor. “Anyway,” she clears her throat, “you truly are my hero. You saved my life _and_ my palate.”

And suddenly, everything _clicks_ for Kara. What is bothering her— _Lena deserves better_. Kara is used to doing the protecting, but she couldn’t protect her from Lillian because most of it had happened so long ago, and that made her feel _helpless_.

“First of all, thank you so much for telling me, I really appreciate it,” she lets Lena’s attempt at levity set the tone of the conversation that follows, not wanting to make her friend uncomfortable. “ _Who_ would have guessed my love for pizza had healing properties—”

“It wouldn’t exactly put it like _that_.”

“I’m so proud of you, I love you. Secondly, I’ve had a revelation.”

“Oh, no,” Lena is probably thinking about the last time Kara had had a revelation and, to be honest, she doesn’t really blame her.

“Don’t worry, this is not like last time, I promise,” Lena raises an eyebrow at her, unconvinced. “Okay, maybe you should worry a little. So, here goes nothing: You should make a list of everything Lillian didn’t allow you to do when you were younger, or ruined for you, or—”

“You want me to write a list as long as Rapunzel’s hair? A ‘that’s why her hair is so long, it’s full of secrets’ type of deal?”

“I don’t know what that means, but no, you don’t have to write literally everything, only what you really want to do, because, after that, we’re taking that list and doing everything on it together.”

“ _Why_ , if you don’t mind me asking?” Ah, _there’s_ the skepticism Kara’s learned to know and love when it comes to some of her more… unconventional ideas. (Again, she doesn’t blame Lena.)

“To create new memories, of course!”

 

**0) Befriend an alien**

“Lena, why is ‘befriend an alien’ crossed off already?”

“Because you’re my best friend.”

“…”

“So, you know?”

“I know.”

 

**1) Eat large amounts of ice cream after a long day**

“Vanilla, Lena? Really?” Kara frowns at the tubes of ice cream in Lena’s freezer and, for a moment, wonders if this is a personal attack against her. _Should the DEO be alerted?_ “You come home after a long day and you think to yourself: ‘Oh, boy, I sure can’t wait to get my hands on some _vanilla_ ice cream’?”

“Well, I usually go for a glass of wine or a bit of bourbon, but, given our current… situation, yes, I’d go for vanilla ice cream. What’s wrong with that?” Lena pouts and _it’s really not fair_. Because she’s so pretty, and her hair is down, and it’s like she _hires_ the moon for lighting because the perfect way the light is hitting her is _not_ natural (or, again, _fair_ ), and _those lips_ , and—

She should probably stop staring at her friend.

(Key word being _friend_ ; friends do _not_ kiss friends. Well, some of them do, but she’s not going to let her imagination go down _that_ road…)

Instead, Kara tries to focus on the task at hand again:

“You poor, naïve creature, you’ve got so much to learn. Luckily for you,” she sets the bags she’s holding on the countertop, “I came prepared. When you eat ice cream on its own, you have to bring out the big guns: Chocolate chip cookie dough, chocolate fudge brownie, rocky road, strawberry cheesecake, salted caramel… The possibilities are endless. Vanilla ice cream is not inherently evil. It becomes a hero with desserts like molten chocolate cake, or apple pie, or brownie, or— Side note, can we go out for desserts next week?”

“I’ll tell Jess to add it to my schedule.”

“Yes, you’re the best!” Kara lowers her voice into a mock-whisper, “except when it comes to picking ice cream flavors.”

“Who could have predicted this? Kara Danvers is an ice cream snob.”

“What— I’m not— Shut up.”

(The sight of Lena happily digging her spoon into the vanilla ice cream later that night forces Kara reconsider her opinion on the flavor.)

(Lena’s eyes closing in pleasure when the spoon reaches her mouth forces Kara to accept she is now in love with vanilla ice cream.)

 

**2) Curse at my mother**

Lillian, as it turns out, is allowed to receive correspondence in prison, and that settles it: Neither of them feels like coming face-to-face with her anytime soon, so a letter it is. Kara thought Lena would write her a long, elaborate letter. Instead, she just writes ‘Fuck you’ on a piece of paper and puts it on an envelope.

“I am the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, Kara, I don’t have time to write a long, elaborate letter to my mother,” is the answer she gets when she voices her confusion. “Besides, my mother did always tell me to value quality over quantity,” Lena winks at her, and she definitely does _not_ blush.

At all.

 

**3) Have a sleepover**

“Aren’t we a little too old to be having a sleepover?” Her warm breath brushes against the skin of Kara’s neck. _Rao is testing me_.

They’re lying in Kara’s bed after an amazing evening of pizza and movies. Kara’s on her back; Lena, on her side, hugging her with one arm, her face nuzzled into her neck —hence, the warm breath against her skin that is driving her _insane_.

“You wrote it on your list! Plus, Alex and I do it all the time.”

“Sure, but you’re sisters. It’s different.”

“Alex and Maggie have sleepovers, too.”

“I’m pretty sure they have a different kind of sleepover.”

“Lena, _no_. I didn’t need that mental image.”

“Hey, you brought it up.”

(Lena’s laughter against her skin is her new favorite lullaby.)

 

**4) Kiss a girl**

The last item on Lena’s list has been bugging her for weeks. She can’t help but think that whoever Lena kisses is literally ( _literally_ ) going to become the luckiest girl in National City.

(She adds ‘in the United States of America’, ‘on Earth’, and ‘in the entire galaxy’ to that list when she’s feeling particularly jealous and extra.)

But then, soft lips are pressing against her own and _oh_.

Everything clicks for Kara again.

(And she does, indeed, feel like the luckiest girl in the entire galaxy.)

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like the idea was better than the execution, but oh, well. I was sick of staring at it, so I had to post it. Someday I will post a fic that I'm entirely satisfied with. (Who am I kidding? No, I won't.) But I hope at least /you/ enjoy it! Still unbeta'd, English is still not my first language, and I'm still @ohmycheese on Tumblr.


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